With the expansive list of online dating websites taking the dating world by storm, one has to wonder if the face of dating has changed completely. One decides that the list of eligible bachelors in their day to day life isn’t well, working out for whatever the reason, and voila! You find yourself signing up for a profile matching machine in hopes that somehow through their numerous subscribers you will find your match, or fish, or cupid in perfect harmony, haha!
Clearly, I have recently finally given into this endeavor and found it a great way of meeting new people. While the quality of people is varied, and the creepers I’ve discussed in posts back continue to creep in here and there, well the fact of the matter is, I have met people outside of my social and professional circles. I guess that was the point right?
However, lucky we may feel, the truth is, most of these sites are just a bunch of people looking at pictures and thinking “Hey she/he looks cute, let me see if we have anything in common!” They then go on to read your profile in which in 100 words or less you have to describe all you are and want to be. All to which they think to themselves, MEH! Sure why not, lets give’er a shot and off the message goes. Sometimes into no response oblivion and sometimes into an awkward conversation about how your luck has been on the site, and how you like it? <-I will never understand this! I’m on here still right! Clearly, NOT GOOD! LOL
Now, I know that there must be attraction initially to have a relationship, and to well, we are all adults here, tingle your hooh or your hah! I get it, I really do.
But then after meeting oh say, 30 plus people you start to wonder if perhaps this approach isn’t quite working out. Because really, the more shallow we get, the lower quality of prospects we get. Of all of the men I have been on dates with, by FAR the ones that were least attractive were the ones with the character that shines through like bursts of sun rays through troves of thunderhead clouds. I can be so dramatic sometimes! HAHA!
But seriously! If what I want is character, why should I limit myself to the guy that looks great with his shirt off!! After all, aren’t we all going to be old and saggy eventually?
I want to find someone who I can grow old with and have substance conversations with, not someone that still thinks that his match is a girl in a size zero dress with fake boobs and an IQ smaller than my 6 year olds. Haha! Sorry no offense to my size one friends!
We all should stop being so damn superficial! Me included! If we did, you might see that someone you overlooked might just be your perfect fish out in that lonely big blue sea! – Cheers! ~SLM
I'm trying to think back to when I joined match.com a little over a year ago. You are right. It's like you are shopping for a mate on these sites. Funny enough and to prove your point, when I met my guy on match.com, it was simply a physical attraction. We e-mailed back and forth a few times then I got busy at work and stopped replying. Three months later he found me on FB and we continued talking and finally met.
ReplyDeleteIt's now been a year and now we crack jokes about how we met. Besides looks I wasn't too interested in dating because he had kids and in the military. He wasn't too excited at the fact that I seemed like a party girl and he thought I was a bit weird for having mostly gay friends.
Now I love him for being the awesome dad that he is and I admire him for everything he has accomplished being in the military. He thinks my gay friends are hilarious and calls me the girl with the warm smile and inner light that caught his eye.
Dating online is like networking. You have to go out there with no expectations or a rigid list of the qualities Mr. Prince Charming has to possess. I remember going on a couple of dates and literally wanting to turn around and walk out even before sitting down but now that I look back, I had fun with those people. We weren't a match but I made a new friend. It's usually when you stop looking that you find someone, or in my case when you stop trying to fit guys into this perfect cookie cutter version of what you think you are looking for.
Ok, I'm done. Sorry...this turned out longer than I intended!
I completely agree and understand that. I am happy to hear that things worked out with your single dad. The truth is, we are all judged initially just like you judged him. It's important i think to keep and open mind about people. After all, its what they have been through in life that has gotten them to where they are. Children, or a divorce dont make people a bad person. We just have to open our eyes to all possibilities and find that the true treasure llies in someones heart and character and not in their looks. Thank you Claudia for your response! :)
DeleteJust wanted to encourage you to not give up hope. I actually found my husband on one of those sites. ( believe it or not) This was waaayyyyy back when those sites were new and FREE! Ha! Well any ways It happened when I least expected it to. And here we are about to celebrate our 10 year ANNIVERSARY ! So keep having fun and for sure don't make looks a priority cause looks wont last long! I'd pick a great conversation over a nice face any day!!!
ReplyDeleteThanks doll I will definitely keep that in mind. Sorry for the late response. I thought i had already responded to this. I will keep my heart open for the right guy! Thanks <3
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