With life swirling in more ways than your local froyo spot, I somehow lost sight of me again.
I tucked my head down, swept through what seems like the better part of 2014. And now, as I turn to look up, and look at the world around me I start to wonder how I let this happen again?
I was on the grind... you know... grinding. Hard. Focused. Determined. Unaccountable.
That same head, usually full of smiles, has just managed to tucker down and push through and past the summer.
I can only count the memorable experiences on one hand. There was no summer love, or fling, or crush for that matter. Welp THAT was lame.
What have I been doing?
Not so long ago I rekindled a flame with the unnamed Mister from last fall and this fall started off on a good note, or so I thought...
Flames fizzle just as they start up. Silly rabbit... where is my brain?
And then BOOM! News of a Mister getting married.
And then BAM! News of another having a baby.
I am officially the pre-amazing relationship girl. I am Mrs. Undateable, Un..marryable (is that even a word?), Un... you get it... whatever.
Why is that? I started to wonder.
As usual, introspection is where I usually go. Analyzing until it simply can't be analyzed any more.
In fact, isn't that the premise of all of these silly blogs? An insight into the thoughts of this always Single Latina Mama?
I will tell you why... it is not my time and they were not "My guy".
I mean, you wouldn't keep looking for your keys after you have found them... so why would I keep looking if I had found him. The same is true for them. I simply wasn't "their girl".
I wasn't their best friend.
The person they could count on.
The person they felt 100% comfortable with.
I wasn't physically what they wanted, or too outspoken for their liking.
I was simply for whatever many reasons... not....their girl.
And that is fine by me.
I rather be the girl that no one wants to marry, than be the one that someone settles for.
I want someone to actually SEE me when they look at me.
Someone that knows what I am thinking when I start my sentence.
Someone who feels warm when they hear my voice.
Someone that wants to want to move and inspire me to do more or better.
Someone who will simply KNOW... that I am their girl.
There would be no doubt, no question, no one thing that could stop that from being.
Because the truth is, that without passion and respect, there is nothing.
Without admiration and unconditional caring, you will never be happy.
And I want to be happy. And my guy does too.
Together we will conquer the world. ;)
-Cheers! ~SLM
