Everyone's friend, Nobody's someone

Hi, my name is Claudia and I have a problem letting go of people.

It is something I know very well. I know where it comes from, I have known this for quite some time.

Losing your best friends early on in life, one in a car accident, another murdered.... well that certainly shapes the way you perceive the small things in life.

You see, for me, in the grand scheme of things, the minuscule things that happen in life, well, they are exactly that... minuscule.

To me, a person, no matter who they are, or were, in your life, served a purpose. Granted not all of them must continue in your life, but usually I feel, people change and grow, move on, and let go. Well except in my case.

Given the fact that I have this innate ability to see past it all, simply, for the sake of letting go of it all.  Well, that leads to all sorts of people coming back into my life from my inability to hold grudges.

No, really. To this day, there is only ONE person in my whole life that I can honestly say I would never allow back in my life. Even then, I maintain a peaceful relationship with this person, in order to maintain amicable dealings as sadly, I can't get rid of him.... no, I won't tell you who.

That being said, friends, ex-friends, ex-boyfriends, etc. All of them, if at some point came back and said "you know what SLM, I was in a bad place then, and it was an immature mistake",  I would at the very least allow them back in my life to some extent, even if just as an acquaintance.

Part of it I know, has to do with my inability to let go of people, the other part of it, is my promise to myself that I would never hold a grudge again.

When my BFF was murdered, we were not on speaking terms. I was upset with her for several reasons and irritated with her recent life decisions. I was judging her. You should judge no one. The guilt of never having forgiven her before she passed was something I have spent lots of time on psychologist's couches trying to overcome.

In my head, I kept thinking that if I had not been so stern, and more soft, perhaps I could have helped her in some way. This experience changed me. I know we all have them, life experiences that forever change us.

So when I look around my life now and I continue to wonder why people that were no good in my life, come back, I automatically give them the benefit of the doubt, and logic that they have realized that I was a good person in their life, or that they made a mistake.

I love it. To be honest with you. I love that people can grow and change, just like I did. That we can let go of animosity for the sake of living a life better spent on positivity and letting go of resentments. It truly is how things should be.

Live life freely and share that love with equal liberty.

I reflect at times and think myself silly really. I allow people back that truly, don't deserve to be. I know it. But I always rather be the better person, knowing that I did the right thing even if for a philosophy only I follow.

I don't care that everyone may not be this way. I like to be the exception. That I give too freely, yes, I do that too, but it is me, and some things should never change.

It's only when people don't learn that it hurts. I feel in some weird way responsible for their inability to grow. I suppose I expect that people will learn from their mistakes. That through our release of animosity and resentment, they will realize how life shouldn't be this way... and yet, as we all know, we can only control ourselves.

It's disheartening at times, to see people be so mean to each other, so vile, and so incredibly selfish. I guess we are all fighting our own growth struggle...

At some point I am sure it will all come to a balance, but for now, I continue to be everyone's friend, and nobody's someone.

I shouldn't care so much. Ugh.
~ Cheers-SLM

The truth is... people can't handle it.

It has been months. In fact, the last time we met, it was 2013 and I was in a dark, dark place. I stayed away. Purposefully. It seems that no matter how well I write my words, no matter how I share my life, someone will always find a way to find something offensive/annoying/wrong with how I live it... yes my life. 

I remember long ago, Mr. Buttcrumbus once advised me not to care. "Someone will always judge you, so why limit content and topics?" I grew up with a Mexican mom who constantly reminded me how I shouldn't give a... 

I would share the saying, but it's a Spanish saying riddled with mostly profanities. 

The fact is they are right. Reality is, some people just can't handle my truth. 

My life choices don't affect anyone but myself and my daughter. And yet, we all feel the incessant need to have an opinion on how others should manage their lives....as if we had any clue how to manage our own. Oy vey. 

And even if we did! Say... you were the owner of the world's best managed life, career, and love life, you would still have absolutely no insight into anyone else's troubles... so why judge them? 

Do we seek comfort in trying to fix, or suggest fixes for other people's problems? Or perhaps is it, that we find it fortifying and positive that we are able to say we are above one another? That our choices are better than theirs? I include myself because at times, I too, have been guilty of this. 

We can't handle the truth. It is unsettling. Whether it be our own, or somebody else's. T ruth is uncomfortable for all parties involved. It is why many of you sit in your miserable relationships, or at your dead end job trying to "make the best of it." 

Sounds harsh doesn't it? It is... just the truth. 

People do really sit in their desk jobs, annoyed as can be, hating every single day because they want to simply be "stable". Those comments may sting. But they will only sting if they are partly true. 

I know it because I was there. 

I was sulking in a marriage 4 years after I knew very well that I was not happy. Living with someone who I knew was a great dad, but not a great husband. I was working for a job that made sense for security and benefits reasons, but which I despised waking up to. I was disgruntled with what my truth had become...Unhappy.

So I made the conscious decision to make changes... some people have gone as far as calling me courageous. Because I had the "guts," the "will," to change things. And yet, some of those people judge me for the same. I don't pretend to be naive. I understand we will all be judged to some extent. What is surprising to me however, is how many people are scared to handle their OWN truth. 

I suppose at times it is easier to live a lie. Isn't it?

It is nice to wake up and tell yourself that what your current reality is, will be as good as it can get. That what your choices have led to, are what have been the best for your life. And that where you are, or where you are going is just where you should be. 

But are you being honest? 

Have you handled your truth? Or are you lying to yourself to make the plan fit? 

No one, not me, nor your friends, mom, sister, cousin, uncle or even your psychologist can tell you what you that... only you know that. 

Truth is not supposed to be an easy topic. But it shouldn't be a topic that destroys you either. What it should do, is keep you honest. When you accept your truth, you start to understand how silly it is to judge others. When you err on the side of understanding instead of just expressing, you gain an innately higher empathy for the people like me who openly share for communication and self expression. 

Let's stop tearing each other down and focus on building each other up.

Regardless of whether you agree with me or not. What I write, is my way of keeping myself honest. How I traverse my life, is my choice. How I fail, will be my fate alone. I promise you, I will likely call myself silly later when I have matured beyond this phase. But for now. I love facing my truths... no matter how uncomfortable they may be. 

Care to do the same?

~Cheers
SLM

The Download (Part 2)

The strum of a single guitar soothes me now.

And yet, every single pluck of the string seems as though it resonates with every inch of pain that clouts me.

Yesterday, I spoke on the very reality of how amazing my life has been. It's important to focus on the positive.

The truth is, it has been absolutely magnificent, and this past Monday, it all catapulted into something I was sure I wouldn't experience again.

After a long day of work, dropping off the, then boyfriend at his mom's house, and returning home for some dreaded homework, I opened up my Facebook.

It had been months since I had a computer at home. Most of my updates were iPhone originated and so having a full screen was exciting. Except instead of a sign on screen, my boyfriends profile popped up and so did a message from a woman, almost instantaneously.

I have since grown up from my snooping days, but her message read flirty, and it stung.

I know I shouldn't have, and as my mouse's arrow scrolled over to the messages button I even questioned if I really wanted to know. The stress of it all swelled in my neck and upper back. The pressure was building and as I sat there for what seemed like forever, I decided, if there was nothing to hide, I would find nothing.

Big Mistake.

I sit here now, trying to make sense of it all in my head. What I read, what I saw, what I wish I could truly erase. At that moment, the shock of it all held me. Stoic.

What could I possible do? Confront him? Say something? And then what? Was this... it?

I read on, message after message with more than one woman. Please God, no. This isn't happening.

I searched the screen as though at some point I would see that the dates were old, that the messages were dated and I could find an excuse to make this justifiable, excusable, reasonable. Nothing.

The last message, September 3rd. Sigh.

I had prayed recently. I had asked God, that if he wasn't the man for me, to show me that he wasn't.

Here I was praying again for it all not to be true.

Had I excused the red flags?

Had I turned away from the likely signs?

The truth is, I tried with every ounce of my being to play fair.

I didn't question anything. I gave him his space. We are all adults after all. Aren't we?

Respect. I explained it many times to him. I explained that it was my one condition. Respect me, and all will be fine. But what bigger disrespect than to talk to, and court other women regardless of the medium.

I wish I could tell you that I am certain right now of how I feel about it all, but the closest resemblance to certainty I have at this moment, is the fact that I know that my baby is in bed, as I type away tears are swelling in my eyes.

99% of his belongings still sitting in my living room packed and ready to be thrown, burned, transported, god only knows.

What's more, I know that I've been so busy lately with school and work that the day sweeps by and then I am home, stoic, and recounting every single key stroke, every name, every conversation over and over again in my head.

My somewhat morose and candid posts on social media have given clue to my friends that things are off and so my closest friends continue to reach out and I, have... no... words. I just can't.

I wish I could be angry. I wish I could have the audacity to burn his belongings, and shred every single thing to pieces like he did to my heart. But I am not that person.

I am certain that like many other scorned women, I have a deep sense of loss and blame. I know you will argue that I have no reason to feel it, but I wasn't enough for him.

I gave him everything. I loved him.

Tuesday I woke up after two hours of sleep with eyes that looked like I had been punched. Tomorrow, will be the same. Nothing makeup and smile can't fix right?

No one, will have the words that will shake this from me. No one will bring me out of it. Only I can do that. I learned it through my divorce, I know it now. Friends and family can provide temporary distractions, but when the night falls there is no escaping your thoughts.

It's all part of the motions. This too shall pass I suppose.

And like so many of my friends say, it was better to find out now. Right?

Yes. I suppose. I could argue though... is there truly ever a good time to find out that someone isn't who you thought they were?

Is there ever a good time to realize that the person you love with every ounce in your being doesn't love you the same way back? I get it, I am being negative and emotional....

Hey! I am allowed to be, it has been two days.

The details of this relationship's demise will continue to stay between this person and myself. He won't be getting a "Mr." name either, some people don't deserve anything more from me.

I play fair, even when the cards aren't in my favor. Even when the other player cheats blatantly. I won't aim for revenge. I won't trash or sell his belongings. I won't buy in to the crazy ex-girlfriend stigma that some men constantly use to depict women in such a way that isn't truly accurate.

I will however, hold my head high knowing that I gave it my best shot.

You will all say it is his loss, yet there are no winners here.

Facebook should have a relationship failure statistic. Seriously though, it might help to dissuade cheaters. Ha! Who am I kidding. Fools. All of you who do this.

Hell yeah I am bitter- deal with it.

Sweet Dreams ~ SLM

The Download (Part 1)

Prepare for the longest blog post to date....Sorry guys, but I have so much drama to share with you! I will literally be doing this in Installments!

Sooooo.... let's catch you up on what you have missed in this still, Single Latina Mama's life. 

It has been what? Well, by golly, I think its been at least a couple months since I have touched base. Things, well, have been quite hectic to say the least. My life geared up in terms of work and all of my outside activities also took a turn for the exciting. 

Since my last post, I have managed to literally make history TWICE! 

No, really. I am not kidding. 

While it may be no feat to some, it is quite the feat to me and I am going to take it! After all, what better bragging rights for your kids when you are 80, old, saggy, rocking in a chair on the porch... and being able to say, well in my day.... I made History. Twice. Hehe

You see... I am the General Manager of an Instagramer community here in San Diego known as @igerssandiego. You should follow us... alright that's all the spamming ill hit you with. Maybe.

But seriously, we are doing some amazing things with this group and I have built a pretty amazing team to help this community become what it has, record breaking, and history making. I just can't say it enough! HA! 

Photo Cred: @lauren_gallaway

After an invitation by fellow blogger Stephanie-SoyMeetsGirl.com to host the second annual Haute As Ever event at the Del Mar Racetrack. This Latina Mom was also asked to be a panelist at Social Media Day San Diego!

Yep. I couldn't believe it. It was exciting to share the panel with the World's Most Connected Woman on LinkedIn Mrs. Stacy Zapar among so many others that I just oogled at in our Green Room. One of which was Social Media expert for the San Diego Chargers, Joel Price. 

I was floored. He approached me with "You are the person I've wanted to meet!" 

Photo Cred: @Chargers

No really, that happened. He talked to me about collaborating and hosting a meet at their training camp, and well... the rest, Ha! The rest, is truly history! IgerSanDiego was the first IGer group to ever partner with a professional Football Organization, better even, any professional sporting organization WORLD WIDE! Oh yeah! In the world. Boom! 

Oh but wait... it got better. The event brought in record crowds to the Training Camp with over 3,000 attendees. Moreover, the winner of a photo contest got credentialed to be on the field for warm ups and the coin toss at the first pre-season game! Lucky!! Don't believe me? Check it out here! 

The best part is, that Haute as Ever was still only one month away and planning and details were well underway! When I brought this event to the table with my team, my first thought was... what is the record for Instameets? After some research we found out the largest meet to date was in Madrid, Spain and hosted an outstanding 235 instagramers. Most meet ups that we have hosted even at some of our most popular locations can host up to 75 but never in the hundreds. Well this Single Latina Mama wanted more. Stephanie had informed me that in the past these events had hosted somewhere between 500 to 700 attendees. If I could manage to get that many instagramers there, we could easily break the record! 

So my team and I set out on a mission to host the World's Largest Instameet. 

Edit by @sdruben

Along the way, we enlisted Phil Gonzalez, IGers Founder and creator of Instagramers.com who lives in Madrid, Spain . We knew he would be excited to learn more and so we emailed back and forth for weeks. Suddenly, the unthinkable happened! Photosi Printup offered to fly Phil to San Diego! We could not believe it! Shortly there after groups from all over! San Francisco, Mexico, Arizona, Boston, all joined forces with us and even made it out to an event that set the World Record with 451 actual Instagramers and their guests. Music Art Life produced the event adding a 1940's theme, complete with a hair styling station, vintage furniture, burlesque dancers, live models, and live artists painting as the event went on. 

If you hadn't heard about the event head on over to Instagram and type in the hashtag #HauteAsEver13 for all the amazing pics of the event! We even had @DanToffey of Instagram join us at the event. You can see him pictured in our team picture below in the Striped Shirt! 

I am SO lucky. Firstly, let me say that. I have a team that I couldn't have done this all without. Lauren @Lauren_Gallaway our Feature Queen who manages our features on our account day in and day out. Dave @kiddradi our Marketing Masta, Ruben @sdruben our Graphics Guru, Heather @Heather_Amber who is our Project Princess! But who can forget our amazing IgersSD Street Team who help us with getting the word out, setup, breakdown, creative ideas, etc. (Pictured are: @sdchris, @xaperockz, @pacificyo, and Igers San Diego founder @hons24) Not pictured were our many volunteers both on and off instagram, I know I will miss many so I wont attempt a roll call, but truly, THANK YOU. 

These events all couldn't have happened without YOUR help, support, and voice! 

I hope you will join me at one of these events soon! And if you aren't part of your local Instagramer community, trust me, you should be! 

These group of people have become family! Cheers- SLM

I chose the Road walked both ways…

When don’t I keep it real? Are you ready? No, really?...

It is growing to be quite an annoying conversation truly… the one where friends, family, and acquaintances feel the incessant need to “call me out” on me being MIA (missing in action).

I warned everyone, I did.

Life, has been crazy. It is.

More importantly, I have finally been doing what you all, always do. Live life.

It struck me only recently, that the same people who get upset that I am no longer reaching out to, are the same people who usually were too busy to hang out, call me, or schedule anything outside of the ideas I threw out.

The difference here though is, I am not resentful. I understand that life is life. I understand that you have children, a job, a relationship, and GASP… Other friends. Haha sorry… I had to…

I would think, that knowing me, you all would know that I believe that everyone should be a friend. We all don’t know who needs us, could need us, or may need us at one point.

The truth is, I actually believe in community.

So while some people, lavish in their exclusive friendships, and the secrecy and anonymity of their lives.

I thrive on meeting new people, with new perspectives, and creative ideas. I thrive on exposing myself to other viewpoints that allow me to grow as a human being. I choose to blow my mind way open beyond the confines of what society dictates my life should be.

Woah… stuff just got deep.

I mean truly people. You are ALL special to me. There is absolutely no one else like YOU! Really!  

I have a friend in Temecula, whom I share only mommy texts with, another friend with my exact same birthday that understands my every weakness and dating war stories, another who only recently became my friend and in one month is like my sister, well more like beester! HAHA! (Sorry inside joke).   

You see, my point is, I need not define every friendship. These girls all know I am busy and love them very much. They all know that even if I don’t call, it doesn’t mean I don’t love them, it just means I am busy.

They all are special to me, they all have a perspective I can’t live without, and I am sure, that the same stands for you, yes YOU, the person reading this blog. Those perspectives are crucial to my existence in growth, which in turn makes you, yes you, crucial to my existence. Have I made myself clear?

In my eyes, a true friend doesn’t keep count of how many times we call, how many times I do things for them or they do for me, we are just friends, and that is that.

My true friends,  know my social butterfly self. They will understand that it’s the very reason I met them, because all of my friends have likely worked with me, been a partner in an event with me, or simply met me along the way of this beautiful life we live.

I sure hope we could all just share it without a dreaded count of how many times one of us walked the road this way, or that. Because after all, it does go both ways. Truth.

-Cheers ~SLM

The rundown, in a quick not so dirty fashion.

I write today from the confines of my bedsheets and mattress. Yes, I'm in bed at an ungodly time of the day, and I. LOVE. IT! 

Well, I tell you this much my fellow readers, your Single Latina Mama came down with Pneumonia (insert horror film background music).

Crazy... I know! 

My writing goes more like, yadda yadda yadda, (cough! cough!), where was I? Oh! Yadda yadda ya (cough! cough!). True story! 

But I have been away so long that I need to catch you up on a few things! Ready? 

1) We are settled! 

We were blessed by so many, well I can't name them all without forgetting someone and I really don't like to use real names. Andddd quite honestly making up 37 fake names for people seemed really unnecessary and difficult with pneumonia brain. So I will spare you all, but I will say this: YOU all, and you know who you are, made this house a home. Without every single one of you, I would not have basic essentials, like forks, bowls, and the very mattress I lay on right now! You are all family now, and I will never be able to explain the level of gratitude I have for you all! I truly hope that you are all blessed beyond understanding. 

2) I'm broke

Haha I know what you are thinking! Weren't you before? Well now, I really am! LOL 

Getting into this new place was a challenge financially. I am still attempting a recovery which consists of eating dinner at my moms on occasion and working too much overtime. But hey, a single latina mama has to do what a single latina mama has to do, right? 

3) There are no Misters in my life. None.

Oh yeah you read that right! None. I plan on keeping it that way. I am thinking less drama. Less emotional distractions to take me away from changing #2 above! LOL! 

Lets see how long that lasts.... 

3) I have been admitted to my college of choice, with my major of choice. 

Philosophy. I know what you are all thinking. However, what I haven't told most people is that this is my way of not giving up on my dream. I am following a path I dreamt of. I refuse to let anything stop me. I'm a San Diego State Aztec! Yay! 

4) The new job is Cray Cray

There I said it! It is crazy! Crazy busy that is! I am never out of work to do and I am struggling to keep my head above water with all the work I have. BUT, it's afforded me tons of overtime even though the $5 per hour pay cut is what has hurt the most! This is clearly contributing to #2 which I repeat, is something I need to work on! LOL 

5) I've decided this year, unlike the last, to pretend as though I am having no birthday. 

OH whatever! I'll just say it! I hate that I'm not going to be able to say I'm 20 anymore. (Even though I haven't felt my age all my life) LOL

Truth is, all of the above affect my mood for this year, and the fact that I'm not where I want to be financially already makes me want to cry if I want to... And by golly it would be my party so I will! BOO MEE! I know I'm lame. It happens. We all can be party poopers. In this case I party poop myself! 

6) Isloation continues

Many of my friends are getting irritated, understandably so. I have been MIA. I can't say I didn't warn everyone. My last blog post was about my isolationism. I retreat when things are out of control. If you haven't gotten the gist of this post yet... I haven't done my job as a writer! 

7) I am preparing to be alone for a LONG TIME. 

I know, how dramatic right? Ha!
Well let me tell you, I am finally starting to understand the single parents that say, "I don't have time or the need to date. I will worry about that when my kids are older." I truly do get it. Although I will admit, up until now, I never did. I won't explain it all. That's a whole 'nother blog post. But I will say this, I don't need anyone but my munchkin to be happy. 

8) I have found myself centered and calm through my photography. 

Seriously. I know this sounds dumb too, but hear me out! I have been a fan of Instagram for quite some time now, and I have found that its only when I'm editing shots that I can center myself and silence my mind. Which quite honestly are things that are crucial to my emotional well being. So if you aren't following me there, follow me now @claud_oval. I will warn you there will be lots of munchkin, lots of selfies, and lots and lots of sappy quotes with ocean pics! #sandiego

9) Munchkin keeps asking me to, so one day, I hope to remarry. 

Sometimes people ask me why after a divorce, I would want to get re-married? I think to myself and respond without hesitation....

At the end of my life, I want to have  a partner in life who witnessed as much of my successes as my struggles. Someone who by and far showed me that good people DO exist. But most importantly that we both can love a stranger unconditionally so much, that a lifetime together was all that would do.  

I know it's sappy. See I have the cheesy all in me. It's there still, I promise! But the most important thing here is what my daughter envisions. She is laying next to me now, telling me she wants three more siblings! She is a funny gal isn't she? I know that this doesn't make sense at all if you Consider what I just talked about in #7. However, it makes perfect sense to me. Prepare for the worse and hope for the best. We shall see where life takes us. 

10) I have wondered what will happen to this blog when/if I begin a relationship. 

After all, I would no longer be a Single Latina Mama.... I mean what will happen? Will my readers drop off the face of the planet and think boo! Let me find another single mom blog? Or rather will they follow me along all of my apprehensions, my concerns with a possible step father to my child. I hope the latter will apply. Cause quite honestly, I rather enjoy the time we spend together here. 

Hope you all are well! Best of luck! Sending you all a lil prayer from Munchkin an Me! 

Cheers! ~SLM 

Intentional Isolation

"Tell me who your friends are and I will tell you who you are," has been a quote used many times to make us conscious of our decisions and the people we choose to surround ourselves with. 

I beg to counter, that there are some people who we are surrounded by on constant day-to-day basis that affect who we are, and we have no such power over. 

Let me explain. 

You see, there are places like home and work, family and co-workers, clients, and friends of friends, who at times, we will be in constant contact with, and yet, we have no power to change these people from being in our lives. 

People are all different, some positive, some negative, some fun, others dramatic and needy, and you, well you may be like me... just a little crazy with a little bit of all of the above! Ha!

It is true, in most cases, we all can choose who we have in our lives. 

However true that choice may be, there are toxic people around you every single day that you cannot control. The irate customer who lies to your face. The crazy cousin who never remembers you unless they need something. Or perhaps the annoying coworker who gripes about every facet of their job.

We all face these people, day in and day out. What holds true though, is your CHOICE. 

This isn't a choice about whether they will be in your life as a whole, but rather, of how you choose to allow them to conflict your mood, attitude, ambition, or drive. 

Choices.  Choices.

You and I are no different, we all have people we know who perhaps only bring negative or judgmental opinions to our lives. 

Friends who perhaps aren't conducive to who we are, or what we want to strive for to be. 

Friends that are essentially bad influences who lead you away from who you are. 

And yet, we continue to allow them into our lives. But what about when you get that from YOU. 

Yes... you. 

My isolation has been intentional. It works for me. 

I know people must think it selfish. That's quite alright with me. I haven't been selfish in a long time.

Quite honestly, the fact that my kind personality has gotten me nothing but heartache lately, simply reassures me that when I center myself and focus on my own selfish desires, I am making the better choice.

Because truly, I love to be social, I love to cultivate my relationships, and thrive on giving of myself to everyone. However, in my path to redemption for my past mistakes I forgot, that being overly kind, overly giving, has only caused me to forget about the most important person in this world... me.

Gasp, I know! That sounded self-centered and egotistical. 

And what have you SLM? What is Wrong With YOU! Your number one should always be your CHILD! Not YOU! 

Wrong.

We can agree to disagree, and you may judge me, and I quite honestly understand. I used to judge me too. 

You see, my intentional isolation is exactly for this reason. Judgment. 

I am my own worst critic. I always remind myself of how much more I could do for my daughter, my parents, my family, my friends. And yet, i always forget about me. 

And all of these people continue to judge me for my actions or lack of. Including me. 

We all have to stop at some point center our thoughts, meditate even. Accept who we are, and where we come from as part of what was once, but is no longer. 

Self acceptance is something that I have worked on for the past year consciously. It's taken me a while. I have cut many people out of my life. 

Today, I can honestly tell you, I feel like a better person. Not because I feel as though I am redeemed. Rather, because I have accepted that I have made mistakes and become a better person because of them. I accepted and forgive myself for hurting others when I was young and immature. 

I am by no means perfect, and on this quest of self acceptance, growth, and maturity. I continue to evaluate myself and hold myself to an honest standard. Not one of negativity, but of realism. 



A realistic understanding that I am who I am, came from where I came from, and am a better person because of it . I will continue to strive to be better so long as I am granted breathing consciousness. 

So I ask you. Are your friends, family, coworkers, or external people really a reflection of you. Or have you just not stopped to hold yourself accountable for the bully you may be to yourself? 

A reflective sunday at best.... Cheers-SLM