I remember long ago, Mr. Buttcrumbus once advised me not to care. "Someone will always judge you, so why limit content and topics?" I grew up with a Mexican mom who constantly reminded me how I shouldn't give a...
I would share the saying, but it's a Spanish saying riddled with mostly profanities.
The fact is they are right. Reality is, some people just can't handle my truth.
My life choices don't affect anyone but myself and my daughter. And yet, we all feel the incessant need to have an opinion on how others should manage their lives....as if we had any clue how to manage our own. Oy vey.
And even if we did! Say... you were the owner of the world's best managed life, career, and love life, you would still have absolutely no insight into anyone else's troubles... so why judge them?
Do we seek comfort in trying to fix, or suggest fixes for other people's problems? Or perhaps is it, that we find it fortifying and positive that we are able to say we are above one another? That our choices are better than theirs? I include myself because at times, I too, have been guilty of this.
We can't handle the truth. It is unsettling. Whether it be our own, or somebody else's. T ruth is uncomfortable for all parties involved. It is why many of you sit in your miserable relationships, or at your dead end job trying to "make the best of it."
Sounds harsh doesn't it? It is... just the truth.
People do really sit in their desk jobs, annoyed as can be, hating every single day because they want to simply be "stable". Those comments may sting. But they will only sting if they are partly true.
I know it because I was there.
I was sulking in a marriage 4 years after I knew very well that I was not happy. Living with someone who I knew was a great dad, but not a great husband. I was working for a job that made sense for security and benefits reasons, but which I despised waking up to. I was disgruntled with what my truth had become...Unhappy.
So I made the conscious decision to make changes... some people have gone as far as calling me courageous. Because I had the "guts," the "will," to change things. And yet, some of those people judge me for the same. I don't pretend to be naive. I understand we will all be judged to some extent. What is surprising to me however, is how many people are scared to handle their OWN truth.
I suppose at times it is easier to live a lie. Isn't it?
It is nice to wake up and tell yourself that what your current reality is, will be as good as it can get. That what your choices have led to, are what have been the best for your life. And that where you are, or where you are going is just where you should be.
But are you being honest?
Have you handled your truth? Or are you lying to yourself to make the plan fit?
No one, not me, nor your friends, mom, sister, cousin, uncle or even your psychologist can tell you what you that... only you know that.
Truth is not supposed to be an easy topic. But it shouldn't be a topic that destroys you either. What it should do, is keep you honest. When you accept your truth, you start to understand how silly it is to judge others. When you err on the side of understanding instead of just expressing, you gain an innately higher empathy for the people like me who openly share for communication and self expression. Let's stop tearing each other down and focus on building each other up.
Regardless of whether you agree with me or not. What I write, is my way of keeping myself honest. How I traverse my life, is my choice. How I fail, will be my fate alone. I promise you, I will likely call myself silly later when I have matured beyond this phase. But for now. I love facing my truths... no matter how uncomfortable they may be.
Care to do the same?
~Cheers
SLM
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