It is a recognized fact that no matter which way you put it, they say that MEN, cannot be a real, unbiased, friend to a woman. That no matter what, at some point, that man, wanted to, wants to, or will want to, have something to do with that woman.
Men would argue that women are the ones that will always have "feelings". I would argue, that women are the ones most likely to leave someone in the friend zone, where they sometimes belong.
In fact, I recall not so long ago having seen a video blog on You Tube that asked this very same question.
Can men and women be simply friends, just like two men, or two women? Here's the link, check it out for yourselves!
I can see why this dynamic could work! I mean, let’s think about this…. You are a single male, or a single female and are actively dating other people. Like the rest of us, you have questions about your interactions with any and all potentials. Your Opposite sex BFF can provide you with that alternative perspective that isn’t that of your gender specific limitation.
It works!
But what happens when in fact you do grow feelings for this person because they are in fact your "friend". You can be yourself around this person, and yet, you are just in the dreaded…
“FRIEND ZONE”
“FRIEND ZONE”
What to do? Don’t fret! You see the only problem here is hiding it! This is your friend after all. If you have started to have feelings for them, SAY SOMETHING! If you don’t you are just putting yourself in this random and awkward situation where you will have to hide your emotions, feelings, and constant ardent admiration from afar as other people take a stab at what you know you could be doing better.
Why? Well because you know them. DUHHHHH
You already know what they want and don’t want. You have a hand up on the competition. You go YOU!
Well then there is the other friend zone. The one that doesn't start that way. The one that started as a influx of feelings that perhaps got iced for a myriad of other reasons. Whatever the case, you are now in an awkward "What are we Zone." Both of you is too scared to discuss it because the truth is, it just isn't an easy conversation to have. Someone on this boat just isn't cutting it, and is about to walk the plank.
If this is you, let me first say, I understand how you feel. I feel your pain, i feel your desperation.
Why? well because I am in this same scenario RIGHT NOW. I am in a friend zone with ButtCrumb. Sigh. I have tried it, going out on dates, shaking him out of my brain, all with failed success. I realize
I'm seeming like a joke right about now, right? Telling you just a couple of sentences ago how and what you should do if you are in the friend zone. But the truth is, I am only telling you what I would do. And I wouldn't be writing today, if I hadn't spoken up yet.
Ahhhhh I bet you didn't expect that did you! HAHA! Listen, this isn't about who they are, what they do to you, or how they make you feel. This is about what you are willing to accept.
So stop to ask yourself today. What do YOU want. Because we all have the ability to love.
Sure, love is different from relationship to relationship, but the pervasive selfless kind of love, that grows, and is humble, the good kind, that grows life long unions is one that is kind, patient, and loving... duh! HAHA!
No seriously though. In my case, I suppose I've chosen to just be me. And being me, means I have to do me. I will continue my life as it is. Busy, crazy, fun filled, and sometimes ever depressing, knowing that if he wanted me, he could have me. All I can do, is be me.
If he likes me for me, wants me for me, he will make it happen, for us.
Because truly, deep down inside, we all just want to be accepted for who we are and as we are. Sarcastic, witty, dorky, funny, silly, and sometimes downright air headed. No matter who you are, or what defines you, that friend is around because they enjoy YOU. So if they don't want to take that to the next level, that doesn't mean that someone else won't. So tell them how you feel! What do you risk? Love? Shame on you for not trying!
Cheers Friends! ~SLM
P.S. Just because your friend may not want you, doesn't mean your prince/princess isn't watching you smile ;) So shake it off, square off those shoulders and remember that you are perfectly imperfect just as you are, Today.
Well then there is the other friend zone. The one that doesn't start that way. The one that started as a influx of feelings that perhaps got iced for a myriad of other reasons. Whatever the case, you are now in an awkward "What are we Zone." Both of you is too scared to discuss it because the truth is, it just isn't an easy conversation to have. Someone on this boat just isn't cutting it, and is about to walk the plank.
If this is you, let me first say, I understand how you feel. I feel your pain, i feel your desperation.
Why? well because I am in this same scenario RIGHT NOW. I am in a friend zone with ButtCrumb. Sigh. I have tried it, going out on dates, shaking him out of my brain, all with failed success. I realize
I'm seeming like a joke right about now, right? Telling you just a couple of sentences ago how and what you should do if you are in the friend zone. But the truth is, I am only telling you what I would do. And I wouldn't be writing today, if I hadn't spoken up yet.
Ahhhhh I bet you didn't expect that did you! HAHA! Listen, this isn't about who they are, what they do to you, or how they make you feel. This is about what you are willing to accept.
So stop to ask yourself today. What do YOU want. Because we all have the ability to love.
Sure, love is different from relationship to relationship, but the pervasive selfless kind of love, that grows, and is humble, the good kind, that grows life long unions is one that is kind, patient, and loving... duh! HAHA!
No seriously though. In my case, I suppose I've chosen to just be me. And being me, means I have to do me. I will continue my life as it is. Busy, crazy, fun filled, and sometimes ever depressing, knowing that if he wanted me, he could have me. All I can do, is be me.
If he likes me for me, wants me for me, he will make it happen, for us.
Because truly, deep down inside, we all just want to be accepted for who we are and as we are. Sarcastic, witty, dorky, funny, silly, and sometimes downright air headed. No matter who you are, or what defines you, that friend is around because they enjoy YOU. So if they don't want to take that to the next level, that doesn't mean that someone else won't. So tell them how you feel! What do you risk? Love? Shame on you for not trying!
Cheers Friends! ~SLM
P.S. Just because your friend may not want you, doesn't mean your prince/princess isn't watching you smile ;) So shake it off, square off those shoulders and remember that you are perfectly imperfect just as you are, Today.
I hate men hahaaa A.H.
ReplyDeleteHAHA I know who this is! ;)
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