Monday, April 8, 2013

The rundown, in a quick not so dirty fashion.


I write today from the confines of my bedsheets and mattress. Yes, I'm in bed at an ungodly time of the day, and I. LOVE. IT! 

Well, I tell you this much my fellow readers, your Single Latina Mama came down with Pneumonia (insert horror film background music).

Crazy... I know! 

My writing goes more like, yadda yadda yadda, (cough! cough!), where was I? Oh! Yadda yadda ya (cough! cough!). True story! 

But I have been away so long that I need to catch you up on a few things! Ready? 

1) We are settled! 

We were blessed by so many, well I can't name them all without forgetting someone and I really don't like to use real names. Andddd quite honestly making up 37 fake names for people seemed really unnecessary and difficult with pneumonia brain. So I will spare you all, but I will say this: YOU all, and you know who you are, made this house a home. Without every single one of you, I would not have basic essentials, like forks, bowls, and the very mattress I lay on right now! You are all family now, and I will never be able to explain the level of gratitude I have for you all! I truly hope that you are all blessed beyond understanding. 

2) I'm broke

Haha I know what you are thinking! Weren't you before? Well now, I really am! LOL 
Getting into this new place was a challenge financially. I am still attempting a recovery which consists of eating dinner at my moms on occasion and working too much overtime. But hey, a single latina mama has to do what a single latina mama has to do, right? 

3) There are no Misters in my life. None.

Oh yeah you read that right! None. I plan on keeping it that way. I am thinking less drama. Less emotional distractions to take me away from changing #2 above! LOL! 
Lets see how long that lasts.... 

3) I have been admitted to my college of choice, with my major of choice. 

Philosophy. I know what you are all thinking. However, what I haven't told most people is that this is my way of not giving up on my dream. I am following a path I dreamt of. I refuse to let anything stop me. I'm a San Diego State Aztec! Yay! 

4) The new job is Cray Cray

There I said it! It is crazy! Crazy busy that is! I am never out of work to do and I am struggling to keep my head above water with all the work I have. BUT, it's afforded me tons of overtime even though the $5 per hour pay cut is what has hurt the most! This is clearly contributing to #2 which I repeat, is something I need to work on! LOL 

5) I've decided this year, unlike the last, to pretend as though I am having no birthday. 

OH whatever! I'll just say it! I hate that I'm not going to be able to say I'm 20 anymore. (Even though I haven't felt my age all my life) LOL

Truth is, all of the above affect my mood for this year, and the fact that I'm not where I want to be financially already makes me want to cry if I want to... And by golly it would be my party so I will! BOO MEE! I know I'm lame. It happens. We all can be party poopers. In this case I party poop myself! 

6) Isloation continues

Many of my friends are getting irritated, understandably so. I have been MIA. I can't say I didn't warn everyone. My last blog post was about my isolationism. I retreat when things are out of control. If you haven't gotten the gist of this post yet... I haven't done my job as a writer! 

7) I am preparing to be alone for a LONG TIME. 

I know, how dramatic right? Ha!
Well let me tell you, I am finally starting to understand the single parents that say, "I don't have time or the need to date. I will worry about that when my kids are older." I truly do get it. Although I will admit, up until now, I never did. I won't explain it all. That's a whole 'nother blog post. But I will say this, I don't need anyone but my munchkin to be happy. 

8) I have found myself centered and calm through my photography. 

Seriously. I know this sounds dumb too, but hear me out! I have been a fan of Instagram for quite some time now, and I have found that its only when I'm editing shots that I can center myself and silence my mind. Which quite honestly are things that are crucial to my emotional well being. So if you aren't following me there, follow me now @claud_oval. I will warn you there will be lots of munchkin, lots of selfies, and lots and lots of sappy quotes with ocean pics! #sandiego

9) Munchkin keeps asking me to, so one day, I hope to remarry. 

Sometimes people ask me why after a divorce, I would want to get re-married? I think to myself and respond without hesitation....

At the end of my life, I want to have  a partner in life who witnessed as much of my successes as my struggles. Someone who by and far showed me that good people DO exist. But most importantly that we both can love a stranger unconditionally so much, that a lifetime together was all that would do.  

I know it's sappy. See I have the cheesy all in me. It's there still, I promise! But the most important thing here is what my daughter envisions. She is laying next to me now, telling me she wants three more siblings! She is a funny gal isn't she? I know that this doesn't make sense at all if you Consider what I just talked about in #7. However, it makes perfect sense to me. Prepare for the worse and hope for the best. We shall see where life takes us. 

10) I have wondered what will happen to this blog when/if I begin a relationship. 

After all, I would no longer be a Single Latina Mama.... I mean what will happen? Will my readers drop off the face of the planet and think boo! Let me find another single mom blog? Or rather will they follow me along all of my apprehensions, my concerns with a possible step father to my child. I hope the latter will apply. Cause quite honestly, I rather enjoy the time we spend together here. 

Hope you all are well! Best of luck! Sending you all a lil prayer from Munchkin an Me! 

Cheers! ~SLM