I beg to counter, that there are some people who we are surrounded by on constant day-to-day basis that affect who we are, and we have no such power over.
Let me explain.
You see, there are places like home and work, family and co-workers, clients, and friends of friends, who at times, we will be in constant contact with, and yet, we have no power to change these people from being in our lives.
People are all different, some positive, some negative, some fun, others dramatic and needy, and you, well you may be like me... just a little crazy with a little bit of all of the above! Ha!
It is true, in most cases, we all can choose who we have in our lives.
However true that choice may be, there are toxic people around you every single day that you cannot control. The irate customer who lies to your face. The crazy cousin who never remembers you unless they need something. Or perhaps the annoying coworker who gripes about every facet of their job.
We all face these people, day in and day out. What holds true though, is your CHOICE.
This isn't a choice about whether they will be in your life as a whole, but rather, of how you choose to allow them to conflict your mood, attitude, ambition, or drive.
Choices. Choices.
You and I are no different, we all have people we know who perhaps only bring negative or judgmental opinions to our lives.
Friends who perhaps aren't conducive to who we are, or what we want to strive for to be.
Friends that are essentially bad influences who lead you away from who you are.
And yet, we continue to allow them into our lives. But what about when you get that from YOU.
Yes... you.
My isolation has been intentional. It works for me. I know people must think it selfish. That's quite alright with me. I haven't been selfish in a long time.
Quite honestly, the fact that my kind personality has gotten me nothing but heartache lately, simply reassures me that when I center myself and focus on my own selfish desires, I am making the better choice.
Because truly, I love to be social, I love to cultivate my relationships, and thrive on giving of myself to everyone. However, in my path to redemption for my past mistakes I forgot, that being overly kind, overly giving, has only caused me to forget about the most important person in this world... me.
Gasp, I know! That sounded self-centered and egotistical.
And what have you SLM? What is Wrong With YOU! Your number one should always be your CHILD! Not YOU!
Wrong.
We can agree to disagree, and you may judge me, and I quite honestly understand. I used to judge me too.
You see, my intentional isolation is exactly for this reason. Judgment.
I am my own worst critic. I always remind myself of how much more I could do for my daughter, my parents, my family, my friends. And yet, i always forget about me.
And all of these people continue to judge me for my actions or lack of. Including me.
We all have to stop at some point center our thoughts, meditate even. Accept who we are, and where we come from as part of what was once, but is no longer.
Self acceptance is something that I have worked on for the past year consciously. It's taken me a while. I have cut many people out of my life.
Today, I can honestly tell you, I feel like a better person. Not because I feel as though I am redeemed. Rather, because I have accepted that I have made mistakes and become a better person because of them. I accepted and forgive myself for hurting others when I was young and immature.
I am by no means perfect, and on this quest of self acceptance, growth, and maturity. I continue to evaluate myself and hold myself to an honest standard. Not one of negativity, but of realism. A realistic understanding that I am who I am, came from where I came from, and am a better person because of it . I will continue to strive to be better so long as I am granted breathing consciousness.
So I ask you. Are your friends, family, coworkers, or external people really a reflection of you. Or have you just not stopped to hold yourself accountable for the bully you may be to yourself?
A reflective sunday at best.... Cheers-SLM
