Survival and Madrehood

Broke! Yes, I said it! I'm broke! Sure I enjoy myself with my friends on occasion, buy food, pay the bills, yeah, yeah, yeah! We get it!! 

But seriously, it's the Wednesday before payday, and I probably have $6 to my name. Wow. 

I guess this is what happens when you CHOOSE to have one income. 

It's funny you know, I have a good job, I pay all my bills, have a roof over our heads, but when my daughter asked me if I'd buy her pizza tomorrow, I froze in fright. I wanted to quickly say "Of cooooouuuuurse" and yet in that split second I thought: "I wonder if my mom has $20 she wouldn't mind letting me borrow?"

JUST THEN! I was relieved to remember that she was going to her Dad's tomorrow night! I quickly turned and reminded her. She fortunately was satisfied with my answer. Phew! Dodged a bullet right there! Sheesh! 

But the truth is, it bothered me. It bothered me enough to unsettle my strength. I felt like just for things like this, although there may be times in the future where I may need to say No, I still needed to have a plan, a safety net, so that this wouldn't happen again!

There is clearly nothing I can immediately do to remedy this situation. The fact is, my budget was such, that I knew I would be right where I am at, broke and crawling for my paycheck! 

And yet, I know that come Friday, I'll be ok again. Just like always taking it a week at a time, and sometimes a day at a time. 

But that's it! I don't want to live paycheck to paycheck! I want to have pizza money and maybe even some ice cream money as well! I mean after all, my munchkinator deserves it, and well honestly, I don't want that feeling again. :(

So call it what you may, fear of words, or fear of failure as a mother in my pizza wanting 6 year olds eyes.

Survival is no longer an option! 

I'm moving toward a much more cushioned budget, cause well really, madrehood is more important right now and for god's sakes, my munchkin wants pizza! -Cheers! ~SLM

Santa you forgot the Bieber!

Is anyone else feeling as violated by the Holiday Madness? I mean, although I tried my best to ensure that I took things in stride and made sure that I crossed my T’s and dotted my I’s, the fact is, I just went through all the motions and managed to get through it like in years past, just barely!

This year, like the last, I was broke. Now, I clearly don’t mean poverty broke, but if it hadn’t been for the fact that my roommate is letting me borrow her car, and thus I don’t have a rental car payment, there might have been no Christmas for anyone other than my munchkin, really!

We celebrate Christmas and this year, munchkin wasn’t happy that Santa didn’t bring her a bike or a Justin Bieber doll. I have a 6 year old for goodness sakes! I refuse to be sucked into the Disney vortex of teen pop! GRRRRRRRRRR!!!  

We are all adults in my family really, and we all know that even if I hadn’t bought everyone something, well it would have been fine. But you know how it is, you want to make sure that in small token you recognize all that people have given you throughout the year, whether that may be, friendship, emotional stability, or my all-time favorite, judgmental criticism! J

Because well I mean, at least from my family, most of the time, my “support” sometimes comes by way of telling me how I could have done things better. Hey I’m here and a better person right!? That criticism must have helped in some way… I think. Haha!

So after an unproductive Holiday season, I would just like to say, I HATE being unable to purchase everyone I would have liked to, a small token of appreciation. I am such a giver and it sucks not to give.

While I hate resolutions, this year, I want to do a better job of letting people know how much they mean to me, because well quite honestly, can you ever really do that enough?

I hope you all had a fabulous holiday season no matter what you celebrated. Thank you for reading and I promise to give you more this year! Now back to reality, whatever that is…